Hello, My Name is Chemobrain!

Nippleless should be recognized by spell-check.  I don't want a hyphen. I want a descriptor.

Just sayin'.

I've been trying to think of a new word for "survivor" in regard to having had breast cancer. Something that underscores early detection (as the miracle discovery of  2 different types of cancer in 7 tumors total was a result of my very first mammogram at 39 (blah blah blah...)

then there was my first double mastectomy (really owie boo boos and lots of decorative gauze... I could've won Project Runway with my tenderly placed adhesive strips),

and my bi-weekly drip trips to the chemo cafe... and of course, my new inflatable boobs...

and early menopause (my 40th birthday present was the not having to ever have a period again) - oh, and for the record, going through chemo and menopause at the same time, in the winter, will have you bald and naked in the snow in the front yard. Making snow angels. I call it ChemoPause.

Then there was the secret delight of losing hair in places I really didn't mind losing it.

I could start peppering my speech with lines like "Was your chemo cocktail that deep fuchsia hue of a Rubellite Tourmaline, too?" and "Wasn't it great to not have to shave you legs for 4 months?" and see what kind of responses I get.

Oh, and "Did you earn that pink ribbon or did it come from Oriental Trading?"

I can't just walk around topless and let the wounds speak for themselves, and you can't really SEE chemobrain... but I am part of some "new normal" group.

I just don't know what to have printed on the name tag.

Can I legally have my name changed to Chemo Brain?